By bbr

by Sarah Warlick, copy editor

Out with the old and in with the new! We’re all about to become disciplined, fit and disturbingly Zen in our daily lives, what with resolutions for 2012 fresh in our minds. As part of this new leaf motif, let’s pause in our newly adopted heart-healthy, sustainable and time-efficient routines to join the annual Lake Superior State University word-banishing event.

This fine tradition brings together great minds for a completely subjective gripe-fest to forbid the further use of words and phrases that irk, irritate and push our buttons, with or without just cause. As such, there is plenty of room for disagreement and even blatant hypocrisy. For example, I’m calling for the end to ‘awesome’ and ‘deliverables’ – both of which being words I use with some frequency. I’ll keep using them but you shouldn’t, because you sound silly when you do. Another participant has demanded a moratorium on ‘ginormous’ on the grounds that it’s both annoying and a completely made-up word. I, on the other hand, find it charming in its juxtaposed incorrectness and redundancy, and shall continue to use it with relish. Even so, I accept and applaud the contributor’s valid points regarding the word, and respect its inclusion on the proscribed list. I earn extra internal credit for tolerance and she gets to indulge in a moment of didactic bliss for the benefit of all. See how much fun this game can be?

The school’s committee has selected these and others from a slew of nominations:

Baby bump: humans should not be demoted to fashion accessories, no matter how cute.
Amazing: Anderson Cooper had to blow it for the rest of us. Pace yourself, man.
Man cave: in deference to our less Neanderthal brethren with a flair for interior design.
Shared sacrifice: one of the many worthy contenders from the world of corporate lingo, this one frankly leaves me with the urge to demand my allotted portion of the toasted virgin.

We at bbr marketing have some of our own to contribute, based upon nothing more than personal whim, naturally, and we’d like to invite you to add yours to the growing list of words that should be banned from usage simply because you’re tired of hearing them. Our collection includes:

Leverage:  every time someone utters this word, an angel sneers snidely. This term has progressed so far into meaninglessness that even children mock it openly. My first grader asked me yesterday,“I’m hungry, Mommy. Could you please leverage me a peanut butter sandwich?”
Deliverables: you think important business documents, I think pizza and Szechuan beef. Try ‘product’ or ‘report’ if you want to demand a specific item or brag about your work.
Low-hanging fruit: corporate leaders should show more discretion. Our intrepid contributor spelled out what the rest of us have been giggling silently about for months – every time we hear this phrase, the universal response is to visualize unsupported testicles. Spare us.
Strategize: lay off with the gratuitous verbing of respectable nouns! Let’s get together to make a plan, or to generate ideas, or to put together a strategy, but please…not to strategize.
On the same page: really? And here I thought we were on the same plane of existence. Unless you’re Alice in Wonderland and I’m the Queen of Hearts, find another way. Off with their heads!
Myself:  This is a perfectly decent reflexive pronoun, but it’s devolved into a pretentious way to say “me” for those with a weak grasp of the accusative case. Don’t do  it.
My pleasure: Certain businesses demand their customer service representatives use this in each exchange. While it’s refreshing to learn you enjoyed serving my chicken sandwich, “You’re welcome” is more traditional and far, far more honest. We know you’d rather not be there.

Not cranky enough for you? You play too! Next time you wake up in a fit of anxiety at 2:30 in the morning, turn your mind instead to the equally productive task of limiting the language choices of others. You’ll be back to sleep in no time, but be sure to send us your thoughts before you doze off!